10 bits of weird rock merchandise

Along with the legions of adoring fans, millions of cash monies and ability to get in swanky bars, one of the advantages of being a world-famous rock star is the opportunity to blithely slap your name on whatever kit you fancy being associated with. Unfortunately, the downside is that more nefarious types might do the same, regardless of your personal preference…

Here are 10 of our favourite unusual bits of rock merchandise - some official, others very unofficial/entirely illegal.

Johnny Marr

Ray-Ban sunglasses

Despite his native Manchester being defined by a thin drizzle, the Smiths man spent the 80s behind a pair of Ray-Bans, and in January unveiled a run of 1,500 signature shades. Based on the Signet shape, complete with his discrete scrawl and mirrored Blu Legend lenses, they’re just the thing for sitting in a bedsit alone, listening to the rain...

While the seafood industry missed a trick by never asking Yngwie to endorse scallops, pen giant Sharpie honoured the Swedish virtuoso in 2011 with his own bespoke marker. Shred strumpets presenting their bosoms for a post-gig autograph should remember that it’s permanent.

Ah, there’s no mistaking the smooth taste and rich aroma of Dave Mustaine’s micro-roasted organic Black Gold coffee - at least until it was pulled from the shelves in 2008. It’s not like the Megadeth man needs to be any more wired and jittery...

You’ve played the KISS board game, drunk from the KISS thermos... why not hit the afterlife in style in a coffin emblazoned with the mugs of Ace Frehley et al. “I love livin’,” spouts Gene Simmons, “but this makes the alternative look pretty damn good!”

Buy the KISS Kasket

The KFK Industries website has been down for a while now and it looks like Kerry King has put a lid on his extreme bracelet business, which is a shame. We were looking forward to terrorising our local aerobics class with a pair of his five-inch spiked wristbands...

If AC/DC were a drink, they’d be a warm lager drunk through a sock by a sunburnt Australian. Despite that, they’ve just launched a sophisticated range of wines named after their hits. Total Guitar editor Stu is still fuming they didn’t use his suggestions: Those About To Rioja and Whole Lotta Rosé...

Since leaving his band of ancient relics in 1992, former Stone Wyman has dug them up and now flogs signature metal detectors on his website and declares it the “greatest hobby on Planet Earth!”

Buy the C.Scope Bill Wyman Signature Metal Detector

What better way to commemorate a man who choked to death on his own vomit than a posthumous vodka? Surprisingly, Jimi’s estate didn’t agree, hence the Hendrix Electric Vodka being dropped in 2009, and scoring its makers a $3.2 million fine for trademark infringement.

Santana’s footwear range will be adored by the tottering Latina in your life. They’re not exactly subtle - with snakeskin, tassles, glitter and foot-long stiletto heels - but we’ll spare the sarcasm, as proceeds go to the Milagro Foundation for vulnerable children.

Buy Carlos Santana's designer shoes

In fairness, being dead, the Nirvana frontman probably didn’t sign off on the notorious 2007 ad that saw him perched on a cloud wearing boots and celestial robes above the caption ‘Dr Martens Forever’. Trouble is, neither did his widow, Courtney Love, who promptly went nuclear while the boot-maker fired the ad agency and issued all apologies.