Man steals vintage Telecaster from coffin

An employee at a Cemetery in Wisconsin has been charged by U.S. authorities after he confessed to taking a vintage Fender Telecaster from a coffin.

Steven Conard was caught out by James Lang, a colleague at the Allouez Catholic Cemetery, after the director of the funeral home that delivered the corpse mentioned to them both that the guitar was to be buried with Randall Jourdan, at the deceased's request.

According to The Smoking Gun, Lang told authorities that after hearing the news, Conard checked the coffin and stated, "That's a Tele, a really expensive guitar. I have to have that guitar. It's too expensive to be in a crypt."

Fortunately, Lang endeavoured to check the coffin before the burial, discovered upon his second check that the guitar was missing and dully reported the theft.

Conard reportedly told Brown County Sheriff's Department, "This isn't something I normally do. I just have a respect for fine musical instruments."

TG reckons it's just a shame he doesn't have any for their rightful owners!

Matthew Parker

Matt is a freelance journalist who has spent the last decade interviewing musicians for the likes of Total Guitar, Guitarist, Guitar World, MusicRadar,, DJ Mag and Electronic Sound. In 2020, he launched, which aims to share the ideas that make creative lifestyles more sustainable. He plays guitar, but should not be allowed near your delay pedals.