DO learn some acoustic songs
DO learn some acoustic songs
Look, if you're going to be THAT guy with the guitar - and let's face it, we all want to be - at the very least learn some decent campfire songs or tunes that your friends might know. DO NOT sit there repeatedly picking out the first three notes of 'Stairway...' and telling everyone that you used to know it off by heart.
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DON'T camp near a hedge
DON'T camp near a hedge
It might look like a sheltered section of the campsite, but it'll turn into a urine-soaked nightmare before you've even got your pegs in the ground. That noise you hearin the night that sounds like rain? Splashback my festival newbie friend.
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DO check out new bands
DO check out new bands
Festivals are the best opportunity to check out new acts, so if you're walking by a tent and you hear something you like, GO IN! You'll find a better atmosphere than the main stages (especially earlier in the day) and you also earn bragging rights when they get huge.
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DON'T expect good toilets
DON’T expect good toilets
There is nothing that can immunise you from the horrors of a festival toilet, so pack your own bog roll, take a deep breath, stick earplugs up your nose, and don't stay in there too long.
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DO assume it will rain
DO assume it will rain
In the UK we have a well-developed sense of irony and that's in no small part due to the fact that it will always – ALWAYS – piss it down whenever we go camping. Pack accordingly (lining your rucksack with bin bags is always a good idea) and remember the wellies. A sun baked heatwave can turn into a mire in the space of an hour, as seen at last year’s Download festival.
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DON'T just watch the music
DON'T just watch the music
Yeah, "it's all about the music, man", but make sure you go for a wander about the site. There's a whole heap of cool stuff happening at music festivals this summer that you won't find elsewhere.
For instance, ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ will be hosting a special live show at this year's Latitude festival, High Voltage are running a beer festival (within the main event!) and, if you like a bit of dress-up, Download are hosting a Zombie Ball.
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DO stay clean
DO stay clean
Who showers at festivals? Not us – the queues are a pain in the arse and you’ll just get dirty again. Just give yourself the once over with a few sweet-smelling wet wipes and you'll be good to go.
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DON'T forget to drink lots of water
DON'T forget to drink lots of water
We don't want to sound like your mum or anything, but try and drink some, it's important. Especially when it's hot and you've been moshing like you're a walking Slayer concert all day. Buy it at the supermarket beforehand.
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DO stash your cash
DO stash your cash
Other than financing ‘Chinese Democracy’, there are few surer ways to break the bank than attending a music festival. Bring enough cash to last you the weekend, keep it safe, and avoid missing bands while queuing for the ATMs.
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DON'T bring your best stuff
DON’T bring your best stuff
Nothing destroys clothes and electronics like a hearty dose of mud, mosh pits and mashed-up festival food. Besides, a torn Tee from the 80s is festival chic, man.
On a similar note, your Gretsch White Falcon might seem like it’ll make for epic campfire accompaniment, but the best-case scenario is that it ends up looking like an art student’s Splattercaster study (in brown) thereafter.
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DO wear sunscreen
DO wear sunscreen
Not that we aren’t fans of the ‘Boozed-Up Brits Abroad’ look, but there’s a fine line between Robert Plant’s Moroccan-era ‘Golden God’ and impersonating ‘The Little Mermaid’s Sebastian The Crab.
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DON'T miss your favourite band
DON’T miss your favourite band
"Dude! I like, totally just met this AMAZING juggler guy!" YEAH? Well we just got our faces melted by a Justin Hawkins solo as a stuffed tiger bore him across the outstretched arms of 40,000 of our rock brethren. Idiot.
There’s nothing worse than missing the act you bought the ticket for just because you were trying to master the art of rolling ‘magic cigarettes’ and lost track of the time. Set a few alarms on your phone for the big stuff and pack in the rest around it.
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