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  1. News

The worst album covers ever #3: illustrated

By Chris Vinnicombe
published 5 June 2009

Fleetwood Mac - Mystery To Me
A curiously phallic book and cake-eating ape sucks its fingers at the beach. Quite frankly, this is a mystery to us too

Fleetwood Mac - Mystery To Me

So far, our rundown of the most risible album artwork of all time has concentrated on musical genres, specifically heavy metal and hip-hop. This time around, we lampoon the pen and paintbrush-wielding illustrators whose crimes transcend genre boundaries.

When the LP was in its infancy, we can't imagine that discussions about the cover art were particularly fraught. Simply photograph the talent – first making sure they've dressed nicely and combed their hair – add easily-legible typography denoting artist name and album title, possibly augment with record label logo… job done.

However, as the rock album became a weightier artistic statement, so its sleeve art took on new levels of gravitas. A simple photograph of the band was no longer enough, something more ambitious was required…

This collection celebrates those moments when the artist behind the painting or illustration destined for the album cover has had a serious taste meltdown or imploded under the weight of their own pretension. And somehow the band, their management and everyone at their record label has either gone along for the ride, or been too wasted to care.

Page 1 of 20
Page 1 of 20
Aberfeldy - Young Forever
Because nothing says 'young forever' like lion sex. Still, they'll sleep tonight

Aberfeldy - Young Forever

Page 2 of 20
Page 2 of 20
The Kinks - Schoolboys In Disgrace
In 1975, percussionist Mickey Finn left T.Rex and produced this illustration for The Kinks. We're not sure how many other commissions followed in its wake

The Kinks - Schoolboys In Disgrace

Page 3 of 20
Page 3 of 20
Various Artists - Uncontrolled Laxative Abuse
We've censored this one slightly, but you get the idea. Featuring such demure beat combos as Vagitarians, Anal Penetration and I Shit On Your Face, this isn't a compilation album for your nan

Various Artists - Uncontrolled Laxative Abuse

Page 4 of 20
Page 4 of 20
Queen - A Kind Of Magic
Nothing says 1986 quite like this dreadful sweet shop explosion of ill-advised hues

Queen - A Kind Of Magic

Page 5 of 20
Page 5 of 20
May Blitz - May Blitz
No, we don't fancy theirs much either

May Blitz - May Blitz

Page 6 of 20
Page 6 of 20
Crosby, Stills & Nash - Live It Up
"Guys, I've got this great idea for the album cover! I'm thinking giant lunar weiner roast..."

Crosby, Stills & Nash - Live It Up

Page 7 of 20
Page 7 of 20
Nantucket - Nantucket
Mr Lobster went to great lengths to circumvent the 'no denim' door policy

Nantucket - Nantucket

Page 8 of 20
Page 8 of 20
Dethkorpz - Metal Tit
We're guessing that any album that features a track entitled Burning Nipples isn't entirely serious

Dethkorpz - Metal Tit

Page 9 of 20
Page 9 of 20
Frank Black - The Cult Of Ray
There's something about the MS Paint stylings that we can't help liking. Or maybe at this stage we've seen so much bad artwork that anything looks good

Frank Black - The Cult Of Ray

Page 10 of 20
Page 10 of 20
George Jones - I Wanta Sing
Fact: country star George Jones once attempted to play a whole concert singing in a Donald Duck voice

George Jones - I Wanta Sing

Page 11 of 20
Page 11 of 20
Scorpions - Fly To The Rainbow
From a band who are no strangers to 'worst album covers ever' rundowns such as this, here's another truly awful effort. Guitarist Uli Jon Roth: "It looked ludicrous to me back then and looks just as bad today."

Scorpions - Fly To The Rainbow

Page 12 of 20
Page 12 of 20
Bonnie Raitt - Home Plate
Amazingly naff graphics make this album cover look like the packaging for a 1980s children's toy. Remarkably, it was released in 1975

Bonnie Raitt - Home Plate

Page 13 of 20
Page 13 of 20
Limp Bizkit - Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water
Comfortably the worst album title in history, the cover makes us sick in our mouths

Limp Bizkit - Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water

Page 14 of 20
Page 14 of 20
Pantera - Metal Magic
Pantera's debut album was produced by Dimebag and Vinnie Paul's dad and released on the band's own label. We're guessing that the budget ran out shortly before the time came to design the artwork

Pantera - Metal Magic

Page 15 of 20
Page 15 of 20
Johnny Otis - Snatch And The Poontangs
Another LP that's unlikely to be in your grandmother's record collection

Johnny Otis - Snatch And The Poontangs

Page 16 of 20
Page 16 of 20
The Human Instinct - Stoned Guitar
If The League Of Gentlemen's fictional band Creme Brulee were real, their albums would have covers like this

The Human Instinct - Stoned Guitar

Page 17 of 20
Page 17 of 20
XTC - Drums And Wires
More hellish eighties-style graphics that actually originated in the 1970s. Isn't it clever how the band's name is incorporated into a face? No?

XTC - Drums And Wires

Page 18 of 20
Page 18 of 20
Moby Grape - Wow
"Wow, look at that f**king massive bunch of grapes."

Moby Grape - Wow

Page 19 of 20
Page 19 of 20
Whore - Unfinished Business
Another one we've had to edit, featuring a man ****ing in a ****'s *****, after ****ing it out of its mother's ****. Google it, if you must

Whore - Unfinished Business

Liked this? Now read: The worst album covers ever #1: heavy metal

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Page 20 of 20
Page 20 of 20
Chris Vinnicombe
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Chris Vinnicombe worked with us here on the MusicRadar team from the site's initial launch way back in 2007, and also contributed to Guitarist magazine as Features Editor until 2014, as well as Total Guitar magazine, amongst others. These days he can be found at Gibson Guitars, where he is editor-in-chief.

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