Come As You Are

Not even Kiss have thought of this. Self-proclaimed ‘protectors of false metal´ Manowar have given their fans the chance to protect themselves from the litany of nasties that harangue the myriad purveyors of causal sex and overly-complex chukkas of Twister: ladies and gentlemen, the Manowar condom - The Warriors´ Shield!

“The new Manowar condoms are the perfect romantic accessory for all true metal couples. Whether you are looking to spice things up in the bedroom or meet somebody new after the show, Manowar condoms will do the trick. Now, you are ready for any chance meetings that turn into unexpected friendships.” Crows the band´s site and who are we to argue?

Whether nodders that bear the name of a band that comprises four greased-up middle-aged men clad merely in loin cloths is, or course, the choice for the individual, but if you don´t laugh out loud at the concept maybe you should try to get some action and relax…

Click here …if you dare

Next week: Freddie Mercury signature toothbrushes…

Simon Bradley is a guitar and especially rock guitar expert who worked for Guitarist magazine and has in the past contributed to world-leading music and guitar titles like MusicRadar (obviously), Guitarist, Guitar World and Louder. What he doesn't know about Brian May's playing and, especially, the Red Special, isn't worth knowing.