Metallica To Play Non-Existent Countries?

According to vocally-prolific drummer Lars Ulrich, Metallica are planning to play loads of countries that don't even exist yet in their bid for total world domination.

No doubt talking at (not to), Lars said the tour in support of current album Death Magnetic could last well into 2010 and take in the polar ice caps and the solar system as well.

"We're waiting for a few other countries to be actually formalized as nations so we can be the first band in," said the pint-sized tubthumper. "We're also waiting for the polar caps to stabilize so we can go play there. There's talk about some other planets too."

This is not a joke.