Stix Zadinia: Barry Manilow would close my dream festival

Steel panther

Steel panther

With Sonisphere coming up later this week and High Voltage, V, Reading and Leeds and more still to come, the festival season is in full flow. To get you in the mood for a weekend exposed to the elements we've trawled through the vaults and dug out Steel Panther's Stix Zadinia telling us all about his dream festival, why you shouldn't take your girlfriend to Sonisphere and why laser, spaceships and tigers could be coming to a fest near you.

What's the one thing you have to pack for a festival?

[Pause] "I'm thinking, because I want to make this right for your readers. The thing you have to bring to a festival is extra shoes."

That's a good sensible tip. But what about the one thing you shouldn't bring?

"A girlfriend. Do not bring your girlfriend to a festival. Because, you know, you don't bring sand to the beach."

Beer's pretty expensive at festivals, how would you blag a free drink?

"I would not be as concerned about beer as I would about sneaking weed in. That way you can buy it from your dealer, you don't have to give the giant companies your money."

Another festival staple are the dodgy toilets. How would you cope with those?

"I would try to evacuate my body before I leave my house and then only drink water or beer. Because the more you eat the more chance you'll have to go to one of those toilets. Unless you s**t yourself, but nobody wants that."

Are you a hardcore festival-goer yourself?

"I have a hard time being in crowds. I love playing for a big crowd but I get claustrophobic. I respect the kids that can go to a festival and just be in it and love it. I love that they love it. There's no experience like a festival, you get to see all of your favourite bands in one shot. That's a beautiful thing."

You guys are experienced on the festival circuit, are these gigs you love?

"We've played festivals in Finland and Sweden. I love playing festivals. The crowds are huge, the kids are into it, it's a unique experience. In Finland we went on right before Kiss. Their show is amazing. I want production like that."

If Steel Panther were headlining the main stage of a festival what could we expect?

"Tigers. I'd bring tigers and lasers and I'd try to get somebody to build a spaceship. And I'd definitely bring rockets. It'd be awesome. We wouldn't even have to play, you could just watch the tigers eat the people firing off the rockets. It'd be killer."

If you guys had your own festival which five bands would you put on the main stage?

"Steel Panther, Anthrax, AC/DC, Metallica and Barry Manilow. He'd be closing the whole thing."

Rich Chamberlain

Rich is a teacher, one time Rhythm staff writer and experienced freelance journalist who has interviewed countless revered musicians, engineers, producers and stars for the our world-leading music making portfolio, including such titles as Rhythm, Total Guitar, Guitarist, Guitar World, and MusicRadar. His victims include such luminaries as Ice T, Mark Guilani and Jamie Oliver (the drumming one).