11 rock lyrics that could be in fortune cookies

Translation: "Let's get it on!"
Translation: "Let's get it on!"

Rock lyrics. Face it: Half of us pay no attention at all, and the other half pay way too much attention, reading 'truths' into rhymes thatare either a) unintentional or b) seriously miscontrued.

Case in point: The Smashing Pumpkins' Disarm is a gorgeous song, no doubt. But when Billy Corgan sings, "What I choose is my choice," who among us doesn't say, "Well, duh! Who's else is it, Bill?"

It's amazing that these pearls of 'wisdom,' usually scrawled in notebooks during recording sessions to fit bars of music, are taken as monumental truisms, when in fact, they would fit quite nicely as inserts in fortune cookies, swallowed bite-sized - absorbed and then forgotten.

With this in mind, MusicRadar presents the definitive list of rock lyrics that could be fortune cookie inserts. Take them for what they are, folks, no more and no less. And maybe a couple of spring rolls couldn't hurt.

1. Rush - The Pass

"All of us get lost in the darkness/ dreamers learn to steer by the stars" Yeah, well, that's cool. But what if we still can't find the Big Dipper?

2. 2Pac - Me Against The World

"Even the genius ask questions" Overlooking the singular/plural mangling, we know a few smart alecks who still won't ask for directions when they're driving.

3. Bobbie Gillespie (Primal Scream) - Beautiful Future

"You live by the sword, you die by the sword / you're only free to buy the things you can't afford" Two-thirds of that is great; the other third, say what?

4. Michael Bolton - Love Is A Wonderful Thing

"The only thing a river knows / is runnin' to the sea / and every spring when a flower grows / it happens naturally" We know, we know - picking on Michael Bolton is like shooting fish in a barrel. But at least that's one 'dock of the bay' reference that works.

5. Eric Clapton, Bo Diddley, CCR - Before You Accuse Me

"Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself" But if you stole our car, our money and our woman, we're still comin' after your ass!

6. B-52s - Private Idaho

"You're living in your own private Idaho" Question: What if you happen to be one of the 1,523,816 people living in Idaho?

7. Morrissey (The Smiths) - Meat Is Murder

"It's death for no reason/ and death for no reason is murder" Actually, there is a reason: so we have something to eat. Sorry, tofu doesn't cut it for all of us. Perhaps you and Ted Nugent should Twitter. (But we still love Johnny Marr's guitar playing - brilliant!)

8. Bob Dylan - Ballad Of A Thin Man

"You have many contacts / among the lumberjacks / to get you facts / when someone attacks your imagination" Just curious: was this before or after the motorcycle accident?

9. The Eagles - Desperado

"Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds/ boy, she'll beat you if she's able/ you know, the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet" So we have a 1 in 52 chance? Thanks for the crappy odds, guys.

10. Motorhead - Ace Of Spades

"If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man / you win some, lose some, it's all the same to me" Given this advice, we'll take Lemmy at poker. Clearly, he's not too bothered.

11. Kenny Rogers - The Gambler

"You gotta know when to hold 'em/ know when to fold 'em/ know when to walk away and know when to run/ you never count your money when youre sittin at the table/ there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done" Finally, somebody who's talkin' some sense!

Joe Bosso

Joe is a freelance journalist who has, over the past few decades, interviewed hundreds of guitarists for Guitar WorldGuitar PlayerMusicRadar and Classic Rock. He is also a former editor of Guitar World, contributing writer for Guitar Aficionado and VP of A&R for Island Records. He’s an enthusiastic guitarist, but he’s nowhere near the likes of the people he interviews. Surprisingly, his skills are more suited to the drums. If you need a drummer for your Beatles tribute band, look him up.