Robber impersonates Paul Simon in bank scam - epic fail

Paul Simon: You can call him Al, just don't call him Rafael
Paul Simon: You can call him Al, just don't call him Rafael (Image credit: Michael Norcia/Sygma/Corbis)

If you're going to try to pass yourself off as Paul Simon at the bank, you should try to look like him, even a little. This is the lesson Rafael Ramos learned yesterday when he tried to withdraw $4,300 from the Rock Hall Famer's account.

According to the New York Post, Ramos entered a Manhattan Citibank and claimed to be Paul Simon. The 54-year-old came sort of prepared: he had in his possession a forged credit card and driver's license along with Simon's actual Social Security number.

One thing, however, tipped off the bank teller: the unfamous Ramos stood a towering 6'1" - a big difference from the famous Paul Simon, who measures in at 5'3". (Perhaps he should have tried to pass himself off as Art Garfunkel - he's a solid six feet.)

When the suspicious teller refused to allow Ramos to withdraw the funds, the con realized that his scam had gone awry and quickly fled the institution - only to be apprehended by a police officer. Later, Ramos was hospitalized and told police that he was "depressed." (Wait till the prison doors slam shut - he won't be Feelin' Groovy then.)

The real Simon was questioned by authorities, and he said he had no knowledge of Ramos, had never met the man, and had no idea how he got a hold of his Social Security number and bank information. With any luck, though, he'll get some songs out of the situation.

Joe Bosso

Joe is a freelance journalist who has, over the past few decades, interviewed hundreds of guitarists for Guitar WorldGuitar PlayerMusicRadar and Classic Rock. He is also a former editor of Guitar World, contributing writer for Guitar Aficionado and VP of A&R for Island Records. He’s an enthusiastic guitarist, but he’s nowhere near the likes of the people he interviews. Surprisingly, his skills are more suited to the drums. If you need a drummer for your Beatles tribute band, look him up.