MusicRadar

View in gallery

MusicRadar has picked its best Christmas songs, but there are also some atrocious festive songs to be heard should you be in a 'bah, humbug!' mood.

Astonishingly, superstars Paul McCartney, Robbie Williams and Green Day all should feel guilty.

So, if you're in the mood, drink to oblivion with this wretched soundtrack of Christmas crappers…

MusicRadar's 14 worst Christmas songs ever!

Robbie Williams - Walk This Sleigh

That pun-based title alone would be enough to put this abomination onto the 'worst' list, but wait until you actually hear it. Walk This Sleigh features Williams' cheeky chappie persona in full, gruesome effect and – hold onto your aching sides – contains elements of the Manamana song from The Muppet Show. It's enough to make you want to become a Jehovah's Witness. Ben Rogerson

Dan Folgelberg - Same Old Lang Syne

The late soft rocker said this tune was autobiographical, written after he ran into an old girlfriend at a grocery store when he was visiting his folks in Peroia, Illinois. I hope Dan got it on with the ol' gal, but did he have to leave us with a song so gaseous? Smooth jazz (a term that makes me scram) saxophonist Michael Brecker wheezes a suitably cheesy end solo. Joe Bosso

Cliff Richard - Mistletoe And Wine

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!!! Mistletoe And f*cking Wine. First of all, let's take a look at a definition of mistletoe: "a poisonous plant that causes acute gastrointestinal problems including stomach pain and diarrhoea." Second of all, shouldn't this God-forsaken song be called Mistletoe And Mulled Wine? Yeah, go on, down a bucket of Blue Nun on Christmas eve and completely RUIN the big day for everyone else. Cheers, Cliff. Tom Porter