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Oasis

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Noel Gallagher's Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere blog does, surprisingly often, offer an insight into political affairs of an international concern. Oasis, you see, are holed-up on the South American leg of a world tour, smack bang in the middle of the swine flu outbreak…

"It's all got a bit mad over here," writes Gallagher. "This swine flu malarky is freaking people out. Landed at Crack'arse [Caracas, Venezuela] airport yesterday [27 April]."

"All the ground staff are wearing those little white face masks! ALL OF THEM. It was like something out of another Stephen King novel. I suddenly feel quite naked without one."

"It was like something out of another Stephen King novel," Noel Gallagher

"Then if that wasn't bad enough my mam called me at that very moment and tells me to be 'careful' or I WILL die of pig flu. I swear at that point I did a massive sneeze and the entire airport fell silent and started to stare!! I WANT A MASK!!!"

Welcome home

Oasis' South American jaunt continues throughout May, before returning to the UK for a three-day homecoming residency at Manchester's Heaton Park in June. Let's hope they're flu free…

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