In a move that could revolutionise electric guitar connectivity as we know it, the Global Guild Of Mainstream Guitar Manufacturers (GGMGM) has today announced calls to discontinue the use of 1/4" jack sockets on electric guitars in favour of its smaller, more annoying 1/8" brother by 2017.
The Guild, which is made up of over two lower-tier guitar brands, released the following statement.
"Headphones, auxiliary inputs and modular synthesizers have shown us the way, and as of today, we aim to bring the same level of portable, affordable and disposable quality to electric guitarists worldwide with a standardised connection of 3.5mm jack plugs.
"We'll be petitioning on a national and international level to effect this change immediately, and are hopeful for a complete switchover by April 2017."
It's a stale format, and the jack cable companies need to admit it
Support for the change is likely to be sparse, but we spoke with an unnamed administrator for the Guild, who spoke candidly and declared: "Large jacks have been hogging all of the glory for too long. They're too big for a start, and it's about time we brought our guitars in line with other consumer devices.
"It's a stale format, and the jack cable companies need to admit it, too; why do you think they make the right-angled ones? They're just bored! I mean, you can't even plug them into an iPhone…"
This obviously throws up the question of our soon-to-be obsolete pedals and amps, and how we retro-obsessed guitar players will be able to integrate our existing gear with the new protocol.
"Easy, buy an adaptor," we're informed by our source. "You're telling me people will spend £900 on a Klon, but they draw the line at a £1 piece of plastic? First World problems, mate."
Groundbreaking stuff. More news as we get it.