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Star: Kanye West
Gift: TVC Deluxe Telephone Voice Changer

When Kanye West recently went off on an audience member and told him to "eat shit and die," he did so with Auto-Tune still on, making West sound like Wall-E from the hit Pixar movie. And who would be scared of a teeny-tiny robot?

So we'd like to wrap up a sweet gift for Mr West, the TVC-Deluxe Telephone Voice Changer, which I'm sure he could hook up to his wireless mic. There are multiple settings, allowing a user to sound like a complete stranger. Maybe West can disguise his voice to sound like Dr Dre. That would work.

Stars: Joe Satriani, Sammy Hagar, Chad Smith, Michael Anthony
Gift: Metal band name generator

Sometimes, a weblink is a gift enough. And as these vets of hard rockin' are currently recording under the working name of 'Chickenfoot' (which, let's face it, is poor), they need help with a raucous band name. This metal band name generator might help. Although the name Crucified By Vicar In The Cell Of Nocturnal Genocide is probably not going to be on the A-list.

Star: Metallica's Lars Ulrich
Gift: T-RackS 3

Metallica's Death Magnetic is undoubtedly a mighty return to past thrash metal glories, but that didn't stop many fans complaining that it sounds better in Guitar Hero than it does on CD. Despite thousands of complaints about unpleasant digital clipping on the CD version, Lars remains unrepentant. But whether it was brick-walled at the mix or mastering stage, we reckon that we could have pumped out less ear-fatiguing final masters with judicious use of T-RackS.

Star: Ryan Adams
Gift: A personal quality-control assistant

The word 'prolific' doesn't do justice to Ryan's contribution to music releases. 14 albums, 10 singles and 7 EPs (for Adams, EP means 'almost an album') under various guises over 13 years. Not to mention the reams of demos seen unfit for public consumption by Universal. And after 2008's LP Cardinology? He's back in the studio! Undoubtedly, there'll be an amazing 'definitive collection' at the end of it, but until then: control yourself, please.