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Chinese Democracy - not the 'history making' album the ad campaign predicted

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3. 'Guns N' Roses' isn't Guns N' Roses

The fans who adore Appetite For Destruction revel in the sound of a real live band, in Slash's gnarly riffs and solos, in the sweaty and sometimes sloppy band interplay that felt magical.

Buckethead: scary?

More than that, they want to visualize the band making that beautiful racket - that is to say, Slash, Duff and Izzy (the drummer, we're not so sure which one music fans care about). Buckethead and Bumblefoot are fine players, but audiences haven't embraced what little they've seen of them. In fact, Buckethead seems to scare them.

Tellingly, a straw poll in the MusicRadar office reveals that no-one can successfully name all nine musicians who are allegedly current GN'R members.

4. Too much ill will over the years

Back in the day, Axl was notorious for making it on stage two, three hours late for concerts. People who've paid hard cash for a show don't like stunts like that, and they remember. The best bands know the deal: get on stage on time, play your hits, tell the audience you're happy they came. It works. Acting as though you're doing the crowd a favor by showing up...uh-uh.

5. Madagascar

Guns N' Roses play Madagascar at the MTV awards 2002. It begins at 2:54.

To much fanfare, Axl and his new GN'R lineup (since changed again) played this song at the MTV Awards back in 2002. The response was overwhelmingly negative, yet of the 50 or so songs Axl had floating around, he still deemed it necessary to include this epic clunker on Chinese Democracy. Unfortunately for Axl, it has the kind of title one remembers.

6. The tunes don't work for radio

On mainstream and classic rock stations where older Guns N' Roses songs receive regular rotation, Chinese Democracy's title track has flatlined. "I'm not talking about a bad reaction," says Gary Cee. "I'm talking no reaction! I only give it a few spins a week now. Meanwhile, people call and ask for November Rain, Civil War, Paradise City - the old stuff. This new record? Not one phone call." The Chinese Democracy single peaked at only #34 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart.

7. The cornrows and shaving of the eyebrows

Axl, you never had a truly great hairstyle, but c'mon, don't go out of your way to look weird. Age gracefully. Hire a stylist.

8. Best Buy

Best Buy staff stock the album displays. No rush yet...

Not the best idea. When MusicRadar dropped in during the first on-sale date, there seemed to be little to no interest in the album. And aside from one poster and a small display, there was no sense that an 'event' was taking place. The wrong retail outlet? Perhaps. The Eagles and AC/DC apparently did their research, which showed that their fans shopped at Wal-Mart stores. Where did it come up in market analysis that Best Buy shoppers were Guns N' Roses fans?

Bottom line: after 15 years, Chinese Democracy shouldn't be an album music fans should have to go out of their way to find. It should be everywhere. It should be available at Dunkin' Donuts. It should be on sale at the local hardware store. Not every town has a Best Buy, but every town has a McDonalds. A copy of Chinese Democracy with a Happy Meal? Hey, it couldn't hurt.

What all these factors have hurt is the sales of the decade's most anticipated album. Only time will tell if Chinese Democracy recovers...

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